Three little words that will change you life? Rob Morrison has bared one of adlife’s greatest truths [:ed] Here it is:

Apologies to any romance tragics who read The Stable, but they’re not “I love you.”

I’d argue my three words are actually more powerful. They build credibility. They build trust. They build careers. Best of all, they’re completely unexpected. The moment you use them, everyone notices.

Meet your new favourite phrase…“That’s my fault.”

Let me explain. From the time humans learn to talk we’re punished for mistakes. The education system is set up with that structure. It teaches our kids to avoid errors whenever possible. Got a question wrong? Red pen. Arrive late to class? Detention. Not concentrating? You’ll get in trouble.

So, we learn to shift blame. To avoid punishment. Psychologists call it “self-serving bias”. We do it to maintain our self-esteem. To make sure others see us as trustworthy. Fewer mistakes equal better reputation. It’s a survival instinct.

And it’s everywhere.

There are tropes like “The dog ate my homework”, “The traffic was terrible” and “The system crashed”. See? Blaming circumstances, not other people. Definitely never, ever ourselves. Matt Groning immortalised it with Bart Simpson’s “I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything.”

I get it. Early in my career I’d become an expert at avoiding blame. I’d be in a meeting where someone was voicing a strong opinion and, instead of listening, I’d be constructing a reply. Finding a zinger that took the power out of their rationale. Finding the hole in their argument. Redirecting the finger of blame anywhere but at me. I’d never throw others under the bus. But equally, I’d never end up with tyre tracks on my chest.

It took me decades to break that habit.

Now, instead of adding tension, I remove the tension completely. Someone’s spotted a typo in a presentation deck…“That’s my fault.” The copy’s missing a benefit…“That’s my fault.” We’re over the social character count…“That’s my fault.”

Suddenly, any tension disappears.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you take the blame for a monumental screw up (unless it actually was your screw up). Don’t take the fall if you’re not to blame. Agency lost a client? Millions embezzled? Reporters papping senior management?

In those circumstances, putting your hand up is not a winning move.

But in the smaller day-to-day moments, you’ll be amazed at how much “That’s my fault” can help. It’s an un-learning of your survival instincts. It’s not easy but, once mastered you’ll be amazed at how useful it is. And liberating. Trust me, it can give you a genuine point-of-difference in your career.

If I haven’t got my point-of-view across, that’s my fault.

Rob Morrison is a rarity in Adland – a grey-hair who’s still a working creative. He’s clocked up 5 years of OpEds for The Stable. He’s now senior writer at Dentsu Creative.

Here are two other opinion pieces from Rob:

Cover image by Polina Tankilevitch