The war with the lawyers is over. We lost.

In the 1990s, a senior copywriter wrote a brilliant OpEd about lawyers. He suggested their endgame was ads that say nothing. As an example, he used a Perrier press ad where a sunflower was taking a long drink from the iconic green bottle. No headline. No copy. No fine print. Not even a logo. You can’t be sued if you don’t write anything.

Clearly, he was worried a bit early – the last 30 years have seen plenty of commercial headlines and copy written. But lately, there’s a fresh, worrying trend.

Let me give you some examples.

Firstly, tattoo taboo

I’ve been on set with some terrific talent recently. Great characters with interesting and great looks. Imagine my surprise when the makeup artist spent hours covering up their tattoos. And I mean hours. Particularly confusing because the way they look is why they were cast. I asked why and was abruptly told the tattoo artist owned the tattoo design. The talent paid for their ink but doesn’t own it. So, it couldn’t appear on camera.

Secondly, disclaiming posting

I’ve worked with a lawyer who insisted the client put disclaimers on every image they post on social media. Not a link. Not “T&Cs apply.” Full fine print including the ABN. Not optional. So, imagine scrolling through your feed and, among the fun pix of friends, you see an image dominated by a headline and five lines of fine print. Awful.

Thirdly, party-pooping

I also know a client who’s inherited a stale customer journey. They were looking for a new way to push an old product. Cleverly they commissioned an independent strategist who did a deep dive and found a fresh approach – a proposition based on “Smart”. The client signs it off and the creative department delivers on “Smart” – headlines, visuals, different media. Then they show the lawyers. “Oh no, you can’t say smart.”

What can agencies do?

We need to learn to negotiate better. We need to share the pain and the result for the business. Good and bad. For far too long the agency-lawyer relationship has been adversarial. They think we’re trying to screw them over. We think they hate anything new. Ultimately, the CEO sides with the lawyer.

Small change. Big result.

Instead of sitting on opposite sides of the table, we need to be side-by-side. Because, we’re both looking after the client’s money. Agencies are experts at maximising impact. Lawyers are experts at minimising risk. They’re sides of the same CEO’s coin. So, finding common ground should not be impossible.

Let me show you an example.

Beer drinkers might remember the Great Northern launch. The ad shows people trekking, around far north Queensland swapping favours for bottles. It closed with the line, “THE BEER FROM UP HERE.” Now, I wasn’t there but, I reckon there was a conversation like this…

Lawyer: “You’re saying the beer is brewed in FNQ.”
Agency: “No, we’re saying the inspiration is FNQ.”
Lawyer: “It’s brewed by CUB near Brisbane. It’s misleading.”
Agency: “You’re being far too literal.”
Lawyer: “Change it or we’ll get sued.”
CEO: “Change it or we’ll get sued.”

What’s brilliant is what happened next. The agency gave “THE BEER FROM UP HERE” a 2-letter tweak. It became “THE BEER FOR UP HERE.” Agency happy. Lawyer happy. CEO happy. And I reckon beer drinker didn’t notice.

Been saying it for years. Learn to love your lawyer. If we had a choice, we don’t now.

Rob Morrison is a rarity in advertising – a grey-haired working creative. His consultancy, ‘morro’, is dedicated to curing businesses laryngitis. Giving companies back their human voice.

Here are two more opinion pieces from Rob Morrison: