Feel secure in your job? Of course, you don’t. What if you were the last copywriter? Or any creative? What if robots really had taken over? What would be inside your head? Read this because it’s your worst nightmare. Because it captures the lunacy of working in the creative industry? Because the writing is superb. Because it’s outstanding storytelling and outstanding storytelling is what makes your job matter.
This is episode one. Keep reading here on The Stable. Find out what the future holds. (The series’ gorgeous illustrations are by Jade Mitchell.)
25 March 2041
They fired Albie this morning. I must admit, I wasn’t surprised; it’s clearly been coming for a while. It happened just as it did with Sally & Cat, Brian & Nick and all the others who are now painting or writing children’s books on the Universal Basic Income (UBI).
Jed and Bob came down – hiding as they always do behind their friendly sloganed t-shirts and ironic retro “noughties” hipster haircuts – and asked Albie if they could “have a chat”. It was the same spiel they’ve rolled out to all the others apparently: “you’ve got to understand, this is a business – a super creative and fun one for sure – but a business nonetheless. And, although it hurts us to say so, after the latest upgrade, Pablo can art direct quicker and better than you. So, your position here is no longer tenable.”
Albie said Bob didn’t even blink. I told him that in the eight years I’ve worked for Bob, I’ve never seen him blink, ever. Makes me think Bob might not be human – which would explain his zealously emphatic adoption of automation. Jed, on the other hand, was predictably over-human and tried to give Albie one of his empathetic bear hugs. Albie told me he defiantly refused to be hugged – but I know he was lying.
We went for a coffee and reminisced about the good times until Albie had to go. Then I came back to the agency to finish the script we were working on that’s now going to be art directed by a fucking computer.
It’s weird sitting in here on my own. I think Jed and Bob might be in the building too, but I haven’t seen them. They generally tend to be a bit cagey after firing someone. It would be easy to dismiss them as cold-hearted arseholes who only care about the bottom line, but I know this isn’t true. They also care deeply about being seen as inspiring, charismatic and empathetic leaders. I wonder if they’ve grasped the irony of this? Two men craving the love of their people, now running a business staffed by emotion-incapable machines and a copywriter who fucking hates them because they’ve fired all his friends.
But I guess this makes it official: I, senior copywriter Len Moise (pronounced Mo – eeze), am the last remaining human in the award-winning J&B Advertising creative department.
Want to get in touch with Len Moise? Email here.
